Precious Memories

What is the correct way to process the death of a young person?  This weekend is one that I never thought I would have to experience.  Early yesterday morning, around 2:30, my cousin Isaac Gastineau went to Heaven to forever be with Jesus.  I like to think of myself as a smart person but it is during times like these that I fear what I don't know and what I can't explain. I fear exactly what Isaac was brave enough and lucky enough to push through. Isaac has taught me many things that I believe was part of God's plan for his life.  The past few months and especially the past few days, I have learned things that I think only Isaac's experience could have taught me.  Isaac taught me the value of a life.  As us cousins grew older and our lives got busier, it was not uncommon for us to only see each other but once, maybe twice a year.  But I realize now how special those times were.  Isaac brought a certain joy into my life that no other soul could fill.  He was never scared, or at least never let on to be.  Isaac taught me how important family is.  The past few days have been filled with emotions and sadness, but they have also been filled with family.  Isaac brought us together.  It is Isaac's memory that keeps us smiling and keeps us rejoicing.  So is it wrong to be sad and filled with questions directed at God's intentions?  I don't think so.  But should we let that sadness and those questions fill our hearts and minds?  Isaac's life has answered that question for me. No.  The precious memories I have of Isaac will be impossible for me to forget or hide away.  Now, it is time for myself and every other person that Issac's life has touched to store those memories away in the mind's scrapbook. It is time for us to remember the good times and the bad.  Memory is one of our greatest gifts as humans. This is another trait that sets us a part from the rest of God's creation.  God reminds us everyday that nothing is permanent. So it is with thanksgiving and gratitude that I will cherish my ability to remember.  And I will remember Isaac. And I will remember the joy he carried around with him every day of his life.  I will remember all the funny stories and the sad stories.  Because I think that is what Isaac would want.  He would want us to remember him; to remember him with smiles on our faces.  So from today on, I will fill up the empty jar Isaac left behind with the memories he would want me to carry into the future.  I will remember.

Isaiah 57:1

How do you explain tragedy? How do you make sense of something that makes no sense? We go through life everyday wondering what we will wear, what job we will get when we graduate and how we will survive finals. It is during the most tragic times in life that we finally realize how selfish we are. Life is precious. But what makes life important. It is not how much money we make or how many awards we win or how skinny we are. Life is about the people you meet and the relationships you build; because that is what you remember when a life is taken away. I can't explain death and I can't say that I do not get angry with God when a life is taken, but I do know that God always has a reason for every life that is taken. Isaiah writes in chapter 57 verse 1, "Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come". One thing I do know for a fact is that God sometimes takes people to Heaven to protect them from this earth. So although I cannot explain tragedy and I cannot make sense out of a young life being taken from this earth, I can rest at peace that perhaps God has a better plan in mind. After all, Heaven is a much happier place than earth.

Two, To and Too

Well, today marks the official two more weeks of school! It's hard to believe and it still hasn't completely sunk in (even though I have received an official 'graduates only' invitation to breakfast with the President (oh yeah!). Change is quickly approaching but I am beginning to understand that it is possible that I cannot actually control everything. My family always told me I was a control freak but I never believed them...I think they may have been right. But living through the ups and downs of college has made me realize that I can't control everything and that that is actually okay, believe it or not! Everything changes; sometimes things change for the good and sometimes they change for the worse. But whether the change is good or bad, there is always something to be learned. So that is pretty much where I stand as of today. My life is an emotional roller coaster at the moment so tomorrow might bring on an entirely new and different attitude.

If you are following my other blog hopeatjovenes.blogspot.com, then you already know that in less than two months I will be on a plane to El Zamorano, Honduras where the Jovenes en Camino is located. My best friend LauraBeth is going with me and we are going to spend 2 1/2 months ministering to the boys at Jovenes and becoming an intricate part of their lives. Just preparing for this journey has got me thinking about where I want to go with my future. I would love to do a lot of writing while I am there. One thing that I am increasingly becoming more and more passionate about is writing a collection of poetry about my time in Honduras and working to get it published. I haven't always been a poet, but thanks to Lipscomb university and their wonderful English program I have been introduced to a subject (poetry) that I think I am pretty good at and would like to pursue.

The final thing that I feel the need to write about is my new puppy, Belle who is just too cute! We got her two days ago and she is only 7 weeks old. She is the tiniest little thing and she will only grow to about 5 or 6 pounds. Belle is a Maltese and is already spoiled rotten. So Benji has a new sister, he would have loved her, I just know it!

Well that's all for now!

God Bless

Race of Life

Race of Life

Time is a precious gift

That seems to guide us through

Dark holes in our lives

Whizzing

Racing

Speeding through

Like the adrenaline rush we fear

Time can be malicious and ugly

And without it we would be lost

Time can be gentle and precious

Do not fear the past or the future

Live for the beautiful memories of today

Do not fear the past or the future

Time can be gentle and precious

And without it we would be lost

Time can be malicious and ugly

Like the adrenaline rush we fear

                                                Whizzing

                                   Racing               

                Speeding through

Dark holes in our lives

That seems to guide us through

Time is a precious gift

Because They Haven't Heard

Because They Haven’t Heard

Dedicated to the thousands of children living on the streets of Honduras.

“And who knows but that you have come into the kingdom for such a time as this”

Blink. She opens her eyes, despite the pain behind her eyelids.

           

            “RING! HONK! BEEP!”

These are the first sounds her fragile ears hear. Fear creeps in

            and she stifles back a tear from falling.

Where will her next meal come from?

Who will be the next person to smile at her?

She uncurls her cold, tired body from the small box she was fortunate to

            find the night before.

            “SWOOSH!”. A car goes flying by. This is her world. This is her home.

Not a friendly face in the world. The world is the enemy

and fear is the only companion she knows.

            Her name is Alexandria, but she doesn’t know that. She is

“that girl” or “that kid”.

            Alexandria is 7, but she knows nothing of a birthday or

of growing older.

She knows nothing of love, nothing of joy, nothing of peace.

She knows nothing of the security of family.

Her body is aching from a disease she has no knowledge of.

“Water” she says out loud as she makes her way down the street (wearing no shoes).

                        She hears a strange sound; it is a woman laughing but

she doesn’t know what laughter is.

            “RING! HONK! BEEP!”

It’s how she begins her day.

What will be different about today?